Queen Anne & Dissatisfaction

I am done with my first year of law school. I am proud of this accomplishment, on some level. At the same time, I feel restless and unsatisfied. It feels as though I have lost my forward momentum - I am unable to self-motivate on this law review competition the way I was through finals when the weight of my grades was crushing down on me. Those grades turned out mediocre - I didn't work my tail off for mediocre grades, so I can't help but feel disappointed. I have one week left to finish the application for law review and because I know that it will get done as all of my deadlined projects have I am unable to focus for long periods of time.

I don't feel like I have accomplished much. Everyone says the first year is the hardest. But there are still two years to go. I feel like two weeks is enough vacation, and I'm ready to tackle the next two years. I hate the in between stage. I feel the need to prove myself - but to whom? And for what?

I will be doing research assistant work this summer, and that too is somewhat self-motivated. I am hoping I will be able to regain the momentum when someone is paying me to perform.

On a positive note, I am in love with Queen Anne. I can't afford it. But I love it here. Relatively quiet, views of the sound and the city, family atmosphere with cute little Mom&Pop shops, but still so close to downtown. Someday I will have money, and I will have a house, and I will have a yard, and a cat or two, and it will still be close to the city, with a view. Maybe.